Farewell Facebook and Instagram

In 2010 I reluctantly joined Facebook. I was trying to market my books and I heard that I needed to create a platform so publishers would know I had an audience. A few years later, I opened an Instagram account.

But I never checked either on a daily basis. With Facebook, I logged in, looked around briefly, then logged out. The extent of my posting was limited to a trove of photos from our travels once a year (I like to show people another country where they may never visit) and occasionally one of my books or a link to one of my blog posts. I rarely commented or “liked” other posts because it took me too long to decide what to say and which emoji to use.

I found Instagram easier to use, perhaps because it seemed like I could post a photo then leave. Recently, however, my feed has mostly been filled with advertisements. (I have not joined Twitter.)

A few years ago, my unease with social media grew when I watched the movie The Social Network, which highlights the founding of Facebook. A Harvard student created Facebook to rate girls on campus and he had to find ways to get their data online. Who’s behind this? And what are they doing with my data? I thought. I don’t think they have my best interests in mind.

Last year, I watched The Social Dilemma, a documentary based on interviews with people who have worked for Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Here are a few points they make:

• Users think social media is free, but it’s not. It is monetized by companies who pay to run ads. Big companies are funding your “free” social media experience.
• Users are the product. The apps are designed to gather people who willingly give up their personal information and attention. These type of people are the product that social media is creating and this product is extremely valuable to corporations. In other words, social media executives primarily care about two things: (1) your time spent on the app and (2) your personal data. The more they can capture of both items, the better they are doing because these things can be sold to corporations.
• It’s addictive. The algorithms are designed to keep each user’s attention. Even the creators, the people who know how it works on a psychological level, have a hard time controlling their screen time and many do not allow their children to use it.
• It’s manipulative. Each person’s feed is unique to them, making them especially susceptible to specific ads and products. If you are thinking, “But I never click on the ads,” you are still seeing the ads and seeing the same thing over time influences us. (It’s called the mere exposure effect in psychology.)
• It’s invasive. Our behavior is constantly being tracked—time spent on each post, image, comment, every click, etc. And this data is shared so what you see on other platforms, such as Amazon, is a result of your behavior on Facebook.
• It’s powerful. One person cannot outsmart thousands of engineers armed with their algorithms and data on your past behavior.
• It replaces in-person social interaction.
• It’s divisive. It keeps feeding each person the things that person wants to see based on previous behavior. For example, if you clicked on a baseball image, you will see more baseball items in your feed. If you clicked on a Republican ad, you will see more Republican items in your feed. Over time, this leads to us not hearing anything other than what we want to hear.
• It cannot discern truth. The algorithms cannot separate truth from fiction.

Does social media have positive effects? Yes, it helps us to reconnect with people, it helps us to stay “connected,” and it enables us to send out mass messages instantly.

But do the positives outweigh the negatives? Each user should carefully consider this question for themselves. When considering the effects of social media, I think about young people because I have worked in schools for most of my career. The U.S., U.K., and Canada have seen rates of teenage depression, self-harm, and suicide skyrocket in recent years. What is the cause?

While there may be many factors, social psychologists Jonathan Haidt and Jean Twenge believe there is a strong correlation between widespread access to social media and teenage health harms. When teenagers began to access social media on their smartphones around 2010-2012, the rates of harm began to increase dramatically and that trend has continued. (See here.) Haidt also states that they have experimental and survey data to support this claim. (See here.)

Here is a super vital point for adult users to grasp: our experience with social media is not the same as adolescents. We didn’t grow up with it. We didn’t have to worry about someone posting an embarrassing photo of us for the entire world to see. We didn’t have to worry about who friended or defriended us. We didn’t scroll through our feed every night, comparing ourselves to beautiful images of people who have altered their photos. There is a difference between using social media as an adult and using it when your brain and identity are not fully formed.

But don’t psychologists disagree about the evidence? Yes, not all go as far as Haidt and Twenge in decrying social media. The studies are still young and being improved. Psychologists recognize that a variety of variables are involved so it is difficult to isolate these variables to find a causal relationship. However, in a recent study that finds the evidence inconclusive, Susan Tang and others state,

it has been shown that social media use may be associated with higher levels of loneliness among adolescents who are already low in in-person social interaction, but not those high in in-person social interaction (Twenge, Spitzberg, & Campbell, 2019).

It makes sense that particular subgroups of teenagers are especially at risk when using social media.

Even if academic studies provided no insights, we would still have survey data, which counts for something. According to Haidt, teenagers say they are more stressed because they have to deal with social media.

While social media may be especially harmful to certain types of teenagers, doesn’t social media by nature infiltrate and eventually replace, at least to some degree, in-person interactions for everyone? Does it have an overall negative impact on everyone by serving as a substitute for what we really need? Why are we on social media when people are sitting across from us?

Whatever social media use is doing to our daily routine, it is replacing something else we could be doing. What is that something else? Reading, writing, exercising, calling someone, serving the poor, watching a movie, sewing, painting, learning a new skill, running errands, etc.

Some may argue, “I don’t have anything else to do. I will be so bored without it.” Is boredom that bad? Many good ideas come out of periods of boredom. What if this technology is robbing us of boredom and its benefits? What if it is keeping us in a high dopamine state leading to lower contentment with the ups and downs of daily life?

In his famous book Pensées, Blaise Pascal says, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” We are not comfortable being alone with ourselves and our thoughts so we run around trying to ameliorate our unhappiness. Writing in the 1600s, Pascal could not have imagined people sitting alone in their rooms running around with hundreds or thousands of “friends” on their digital screens. To be clear, the root of the problem is us not social media, but that doesn’t mean we should overlook the downsides of social media.

In addition to academic studies and surveys, our personal observations are a rich source of data. What value have I received from social media? Most of the time, when I check my feed, there is nothing that interests me. Of course, I like seeing nice photos as much as anyone else, but I don’t need to see every detail of someone’s daily life. I understand that Facebook was not designed to be educational, but I also don’t find it especially entertaining.

How has social media made me feel? I admit that it has been nice to be superficially “connected” with others through Facebook and Instagram. It’s always good to see friends from childhood or high school, even if we’re not seeing each other in person. It’s especially exciting to find someone for the first time in many years but then the reality of little to no interaction dispels that excitement.

Scrolling through my likes also gave me a small tremor of elation. But what is a “like” or a “love”? Did the person who liked the post even read what I said? I can’t be certain. I know for a fact that I have posted links to blog posts and people have “liked” them without reading them. Now, if I was receiving a few cents for each like, my perspective may be quite different.

Social media has also made me feel awkward. It’s odd to comment on one person’s post knowing that several hundred people may see that comment. Who am I talking to, one person or hundreds? And why is that person writing a deeply personal post to his wife when she is in the same room as him? Should I be reading this?

Having to think about how to respond to comments also caused some stress: Do I have to “like” every comment? It seems silly to “like” every Happy Birthday wish, but is that what I’m supposed to do? What about this comment? Is this person serious or joking?

Most of all, however, when I use social media I feel like a slave to technology. When I post I constantly check my likes and comments then I check other people’s posts and comments then I return to check my own posts. Does it ever end? When can I leave? Strangely, I have also found myself repeatedly returning to stare at my own post. Why is that?

This technology was designed to be addictive. The infinite scroll feature, the like button, the comments are meant to keep users on the app for as long as possible. Have you ever wondered, Why do I receive likes and comments at all hours of the day and night? In psychological terms, these apps use a variable schedule of reinforcement, just like what is used in slot machines. The results of pulling down on the slot machine are unpredictable so we keep doing the same thing because who knows what the next pull may bring. Likewise, we don’t know what posts we will find on Instagram so we keep pulling down on the infinite scroll.

Why didn’t the creators design these apps with notifications and updates that only come in once per day, say from 8-9 a.m.? They could have at least given users the option to get updates on a fixed interval schedule, but they want users checking throughout the day.

For sure, these apps can be used for good, but those who use social media must make sure that they are in control and not being controlled. Here’s my encouragement; no, actually, here is my strong urging to all who use these technologies:

• Take a 24-hour break from all social media. Some call these breaks a “digital detox.” If you cannot go for 24 hours without checking your accounts, why not? Just a few years ago, these apps didn’t even exist. What did you do before then?
• Limit your daily use. Consider not using social media for at least one day each week, check your updates only during certain time periods each day or only on set days, etc. This will probably require turning off notifications. If you don’t deliberately limit your use by having a set plan, you may find yourself checking your accounts all the time and this will fragment your attention span. Consider these questions: How much time per day am I spending on social media? Has that time been increasing or decreasing? The weeds of social media constantly grow so we must cut them back relentlessly.
• If you feel like you are no longer in control, delete your accounts.

If we don’t set an example by using social media responsibly, our words to teenagers will be meaningless. (By the way, Haidt and others strongly recommend that no middle school students should be on social media.)

I care for all of my “friends” on Facebook and “followers” on Instagram and I would love to stay in touch, but I can no longer do so on these platforms. They are too invasive and addictive, likely harmful, and I don’t receive enough value for my time and energy. Reading a book is a better use of my time and my page turning will not be tracked.

Maybe I’m too pessimistic. Maybe I’m anti-social. Maybe I’m a Luddite. Whatever the case, I am an individual who decided to join and I am an individual who has decided to leave.

If you want to stay in touch with me, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to send me an email at les.bridgeman(at)gmail.com or biblebridge(at)gmail.com. I would also be happy for you to subscribe to this blog.

Les Bridgeman

After graduating from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, I served as a high school Bible teacher in Asia. I enjoy traveling, writing, and playing the drums. For a deep dive into church history and the character of God, see my book Surprised by Hell.