“No man can order his life, for it comes flowing over him from behind . . .” (George MacDonald)
I have always struggled with my career.
I don’t know why.
Maybe because I’m indecisive. Maybe because my parents are artistic types who didn’t go to college. Maybe because I didn’t plan ahead. Maybe because I chose the wrong college with the wrong major.
Who knows?
Some people have tons of guidance, choose the right major, and find themselves unemployed or working for minimum wage.
I went to a small Bible college in Rhode Island because I wanted to learn more about the Bible. I wasn’t planning on becoming a pastor. I just wanted to learn more.
I also had an interest in travel and other cultures. Perhaps that came from my grandmother, who immigrated from Lebanon to my hometown, Niagara Falls, New York, when she was about twenty years old. She lived across the street from us, with my grandfather, who was also Lebanese, so my two younger sisters and I frequently experienced Middle-Eastern hospitality—a big warm hug, a kiss on the cheek, a thick Arabic accent, Lebanese food, and stories of the old country.
Niagara Falls, New York
Niagara Falls is a global tourist destination. Within a ten-minute drive I could listen to Europeans talking to each other as they gazed at the Falls and see Indian women dressed in colorful saris. And since it is situated between the US and Canada, leaving my home country was a common event: drive to the bridge, pay a toll, answer a couple questions from a border agent, and continue into another country.
During my senior year of high school, I received a brochure from Zion Bible Institute, a small Bible college in Rhode Island. (It has since moved and changed its name. More on Zion in a future post.) The cover had a photo of Earth with the words, “Go and make disciples of all nations.” I knew those words well. They were spoken by Jesus to his followers after he rose from the dead and they are recorded in Matthew 28. When I saw the photo I was inspired to enroll. And the low cost of tuition was additional inspiration.
The Bible
How did I become interested in the Bible? I grew up with it. As a young boy, my dad regularly read the King James Bible to me, and at night my mom turned on the Christian radio station so I fell asleep listening to enthusiastic preachers. We also attended a small independent Pentecostal church several times a week. My dad played the electric guitar, for a time my mom played the bass guitar, and as a six or seven-year-old, I kept a beat on the drums. Don’t worry, there were only a few people in the building. We attended so often that one time I fell asleep on a pew and my parents headed home without me.
Our First Church
Looking back, my dad says our first church had signs of a cult. When he questioned the pastor’s interpretation of a verse, he was ostracized. And at one point, we were attending services daily. Several years ago, while reflecting on my childhood, I arrived at a similar conclusion—I think my first church was a cult.
One sign of an unhealthy church is a proud and demanding leader who seeks to manipulate others. Is that how Jesus treated people? He certainly gave commands, such as “Follow me” and he corrected his students. But when people stopped following him, he let them go. He didn’t chase them down, place a guilt trip on them, and cajole them to return. In fact, when “many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him,” he asked the Twelve if they wanted to leave also (Jn. 6:67).
Jesus also lived with his followers, eating with them, walking with them, even washing their feet. He asked them questions and listened to their answers. Ultimately, Jesus set aside his authority and died for others. Rather than demanding to be served, he was the ultimate servant.
Likewise, in his letter to Philemon, Paul says, “I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love,” and “I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do would not seem forced but would be voluntary.” In 2 Corinthians 8-9, he repeatedly encourages personal initiative then says, “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver” (9:9). Paul was hesitant to use his authority to command and coerce. Moreover, he never demanded payment from anyone. In fact, he even refused payment because he didn’t want to be a burden to others (1 Cor. 9:12-18). His example corresponds with Jesus’ teaching: “whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant” (Mk. 10:43).
So what happened with our first church? After the pastor died, the pastor’s wife remarried and her new husband became the pastor. If that doesn’t sound strange enough, things got stranger, so my parents eventually found a new church.
After graduating from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, I served as a high school Bible teacher in Asia. I enjoy traveling, writing, and playing the drums. For a deep dive into church history and the character of God, see my book Surprised by Hell.